The Dark Side...

I knew from Day One that my biggest challenge as a new teacher would be discipline. It's just not really in my personality. And despite reading The Reluctant Disciplinarian and having countless conversations on the topic, I knew nothing could create a side of me I don't have. I'm not saying I'd planned on letting the kids do whatever they want in my classroom. I just don't feel like I have that killer instinct that I've seen in veteran teachers that allows them to silence a classroom or curb misbehavior with just a look.

I'm doing my best to develop this look and a certain tone that commands respect and obedience. The problem is half the time I'm pretty sure I'm just being a dick. Like outright disrespect towards the kids. Basically in trying to channel this darker persona I worry that I'm disregarding legitimate questions or belittling students even if they're raising genuine concerns. I know that there is a very real danger in letting the idea of having control turn into outright power tripping. The other day when I was reprimanding a student (and doing a pretty good job of it if I may say so myself) I could have sworn I heard the Emperor in the back of my head: "Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you." I shook it off, but I have to admit it had me a little worried.