Stagnation

Let a few more days pass than usual since my last post. Not that I don't have more than a few stories to tell, but I guess I've just been caught up in the routine. Sometimes it's harder to make time to take a breath when you're just going through the motions rather than caught up in something hectic or new. In any case, things have settled down somewhat over the past week.

It really does feel as though I'm in a bit of a doldrums however. Still dealing with some of the same old problems, and I wonder how much of it is a result of my own malaise. I remember back in September it was all I could do to get through a day. Now it's not too hard. But, I think maybe I'm just doing enough to get through the day, instead of making the most of each one.

I'm living and working within a paradox. I'm counting the school days left until summer vacation (51). This is a good feeling. At the same time I feel like time is running out. I only have 51 days left to get through and I only have 51 days left to prepare these kids for next year. Counting the days is a dangerous game to play. You run the risk of just running the clock down instead of really doing everything in your power to succeed.

A funny thing about the passing time is that I didn't even realize that another milestone passed. April 4 was official seven months of teaching. I remember when I was exhilarated I'd made it one month, two months... I guess when you stop patting yourself on the back for reaching an insignificant landmark you're doing something right. Now, when I get to June 26, that will be a whole other story...

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