Time for an obvious realization: teaching is not what I expected it to be. This is something I can accept. It makes sense considering how little I knew about the reality of teaching when I enrolled in the teaching fellows program.

That said, I also had a certain idea of the teacher I wanted to be and the classroom I wanted to run. The idea of being a Teaching Fellow, or even just a young teacher in general, is in large part motivated by a desire for change. I didn't want to be the same old kind of teacher I had growing up or the same kind of teacher my students are used to having.

Inevitably this idealism was bound to meet reality. The reality is that I have five school days left until the state math exam. And my kids aren't ready. So, yeah, I told myself I would never let myself teach to the test. But, the reality is I want my students to be ready and I will get them ready by any means necessary. If that means teaching math four periods of seven for the next week, so be it. Still wish there was a way to reconcile my original plan of action with the realities of high stakes testing.


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