Just to Get By
I realized today that I've been falling prey to a sort of Catch 22. The more I've struggled the more I've been trying to just get by. But, things only get harder when you don't plan for every scenario and try to plan out the smallest minutia of your day. So by just doing enough to get by, I was making it that much harder to do so. I'm not gonna turn into a super-organized, super-prepared teacher overnight, but realizing the dividends it will pay is a pretty good incentive to move in that direction.
Meanwhile, today was the first day without ALP in my classroom. It was still hard, but better overall. I saw him twice today and he grinned a horrible grin. How did I let a 10 year-old get into my head so badly? He might be the devil. What's really bothering me is a comment he made Friday that hit a little too close to home. "Why can't you handle anything yourself? You're always trying to get [the parent coordinator, the guidance counselor and other teachers] involved, because you can't handle anything yourself." I'm afraid he might be right. And if he is, even having him removed from my classroom won't fix the bigger problem: me.
Meanwhile, today was the first day without ALP in my classroom. It was still hard, but better overall. I saw him twice today and he grinned a horrible grin. How did I let a 10 year-old get into my head so badly? He might be the devil. What's really bothering me is a comment he made Friday that hit a little too close to home. "Why can't you handle anything yourself? You're always trying to get [the parent coordinator, the guidance counselor and other teachers] involved, because you can't handle anything yourself." I'm afraid he might be right. And if he is, even having him removed from my classroom won't fix the bigger problem: me.
Comments
do what you gotta do, homie..
by the way, i like the kweli drop.. one of my favorite joints..
peace
A thought about the nightmare child: once, twice, or maybe three times in a career, you'll encounter a kid like that. You're not obligated to agonize over whatever redeeming qualities you might wish they had or want to invent for them. They're toxic for you, plain and simple. Forget them, don't engage them, and move on. They don't have your best interests at heart (an understatement) and it would give them great pleasure to see you in great pain. Is that Good? Nope, it's the absence of Good, and that is something else.
Hugh aka Repairman
And it isn't your fault, or any shortcoming on your part that he was removed from the class. He needs to be in a different environment, and the rest of your class needs a break so they can have a better chance at learning what you teach. Hopefully everyone will come out ahead.
Overplanning is a very good idea - always have more planned for the class than can be done in a day and you won't have that horrible downtime when everything can fall apart so quickly. Planning in a period of "free time" at the end of the day can also be used as an incentive given only to students who met expectations that day.
You are staying with them and providing as much stability as possible, and that is GOOD! Try to get to know them each as individuals as much as possible, meet their parents/guardians if you haven't already. Letting parents know what their children need to work on can help (and yes, of course give them positive feedback, too!).
as nyc teaching fellow said, I don't know if you are looking for suggestions like these, and hope you'll take them in the best possible way - coming from an empathetic teacher who hopes she can help!
The kids need to see that we are human, imperfect, but willing to learn with them. The best teachers are willing to learn as much as they teach.
Keep at it!